I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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