He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
