it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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