You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
