two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
it glows. i had to have it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
