Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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