We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
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The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
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Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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