at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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