Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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