I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize