I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
