I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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