ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
