maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
