It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
whose parrot is this?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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