Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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