I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
