mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
