Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
