do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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