Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
My vagina just clenched in fear
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