i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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