So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
