They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
