i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
