And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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