Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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