if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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