He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
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