where am i from again
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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