we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
