so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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