why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
