I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i love accidental penises.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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