Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
there is puke in my bra ... again
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