Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i think i just lost a toe
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
