she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
