Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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