Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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