Can i not drive my cunt home
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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