take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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