On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
