Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
