Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
