I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
