How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My dick has a subreddit
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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