Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
