im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
