That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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