Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
