You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
