Well apparently he's into motor boating.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
