it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
