She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltš
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
His wife found the thong I āforgotā in his glovebox
Randomize
